My sin, my life and disciplines I am trying to cultivate

I always thought that ministry would make me a better person. I would love to say that it has. But what is has done is show me how sinful I really am and in certain times it has brought to the fore new sins. Not only has it brought my sin out into the light, ministry has brought my weaknesses out into the light. So much so I sometimes doubt whether church planting and ministry are for me!

I feel I am called to ministry and church planting so I guess I gotta deal with my sin and inadequacy. I am aiming to do this in a few ways.

1. I read my Bible and pray. Sounds stupidly simple but without communion with God I am depriving myself of the relationship that strengthens me and helps me kill my sin and fight my weaknesses.
2. I read Good theology. I need to fill my head with great thoughts about God and his world. This will help me to see the world and it’s pursuits for what they are; meaningless a chasing after the wind. I think it was Piper who said about struggling with sexual sin “Don’t tell me you are fighting sexual sin unless you are filling your mind with God exalting Theology!” To this end I am trying to read an hour of theology a day. I have started with the compendium of John Owen’s stuff on sin called Overcoming Sin and Temptation which is a hard read but brilliantly refreshing.
3. I am accountable to a good friend who has permission to ask me about anything in my life. We meet once a week over dinner to talk about each others lives and offer encouragement and correction. Piper has got a pastoral accountability report which you can get at Desiring God that we work through.
4. I take time each week to write down my besetting sins and how they have manifested in my life over the past week and then I try to see patterns in behavior and sin which I need to eradicate from my life. For example, I noticed that I am far more likely to be filled with lust when I am lonely or bored at night so I try to have either something to do at night i.e. band practice/ read a book/ Work on something or I try to hang with a mate. After I have tried to discern certain patterns in my life which may or may not lead to sin I then spend time meditating on the cross and God’s grace, remembering that despite my many sins and weaknesses I have a great and glorious savior who has taken all my sin away and dealt with the consequences of that sin.
5. I search everyday for evidences of God’s grace in my life and I thank God for them. I see us make a few steps towards our goal of planting a church I thank God. I have great meal with friends. I give thanks to God! I have a productive day. I give thanks to God! Because in the end it is his gracious activity that allows me to do the things I do and experience the things I experienced.
6. I am pharisaic about my diary. I write EVERYTHING down in my diary so that means I can make appointments and keep stock of where my week is. I think for some of us who are on more of the creative bent (like myself), this kind of discipline is hard but I am finding already that I have been able to be more effective in planning out my time.
7. I try to cultivate a joy and have fun. If I am doing something I hate or is boring me I will not do it and so I have to find ways to make things I hate fun. So I try to be competitive with myself and give myself time goals in which to get things done in. I find this keeps work fun I also love to laugh and so I am always looking out for the funny side of everything I do. I find this keeps the mundane lively and fun.
8. I am intense. I am trying to attack everything with an intensity that forces me to focus and be motivated. I write out a to do list at the start of the day and go through the list of things to do working as fast and well as I can. Once again this seems like common sense but what I have learnt is that lack of discipline starts with an undisciplined mind. If I think I will do it later or lets have a look at this site or whatever I will not get anything done. So my thought pattern when I am working is intense!
9. I take time off. I take Saturdays off every week as well as other times during the week. This means I have time to hang with my Girlfriend or see a movie or sleep in. I have been raised in a society that has elevated relaxation to an art form and so I don’t struggle with taking a day off or relaxing but I know others do. I am not sure what I would say to them other than that I find if I have a day of relaxation and fun I am more likely to get a lot of things done in my days of work.
10. I don’t take myself too seriously. I worked in a factory before college with people who had a far less privileged background than I and they were able to show me what really matters in life. So I try not to take myself seriously (maybe I go too far in this!). So people rip me off and it is cool, I laugh. A person says they cannot make it to my meeting, it is cool, and I reschedule another one. I live in a crappy, stinky house with a terrible landlord (which I do), it is cool, at least I have house to live. If a person doesn’t get something done on time, it isn’t the end of the world and so I ask them if they need help or what is happening in their life at the moment instead of getting angry because usually when I get angry at people it because I am inconvenienced. So I try to see myself in proper light..

I am wrote this blog to get us to think about our personal lives. How are you doing in your personal life?

How is your Bible reading and Prayer life going?

What sins are constantly plaguing you? How are you fighting them?

Do you have a friend or mentor that you can share your life with and who will hold you accountable?

Are their any patterns in your life that need to be either done away with or corrected? How will you deal with these patterns?

What evidences of God’s grace have you seen in your life? When did you last thank God for these?

In what ways can you laugh at yourself because you shouldn’t take yourself too seriously!

Church planters need to be strong on their holiness, spiritual upkeep and discipline. If you are like me and not naturally disciplined work out ways in which you can keep your spiritual life fervent, kill sin and be disciplined.